"Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional"
Life is a journey, where we will encounter many occasions of pain. We have to accept the reality of life that, pain is an inevitable part of life . Irrespective of your economical background everyone have to go through the pain once in a vial.
We always want to live a life, where there is no pain and sufferings. Everyone try their best to make their life more happy and free from pain. Despite of all the efforts, some way or other you will fail miserably to live life all the time happy. You are bound to face some painful situations in life.
Why do we have pain or suffering in our life?
There are plenty of reason why people inflict the pain in their life. Most of the pain we have is because of the unfulfillment of the desires. When we expect something to happen the way we want, if that doesn't turn out that way then we will experience pain.
We all have some expectations from everyone else around us, when someone doesn't behave the way we want, then we will start feeling bad.
Desires and expectations from life is the main cause of our pain and suffering. We don't want our life to happen the way it is designed, but we expect it to happen by our way. When things go wrong we experience unfulfilled desires , which creates the pain and sufferings.
We can't control all the aspects of the life, still we are trying hard to take charge of our life. Couple of things in our life are beyond our reach to take control of it.
People keep on pressing hard to always feel good. But life is made up of god times and bad times. Every aspect of life has meaning which we don't understand at deeper level. We are not ready to accept the reality of life.
Pain in life comes with the intentions to teach you meaningful life lessons. If you are following wrong way in your life then you will fail miserably and you will be given one more opportunity to change your path.
Every pain we inflict in our life have some life lessons to teach. If you are too much addicted to smoking which will eventually damage your lungs. You will be alarmed several times through minor heart attack or unease to breath. All these are the painful situations which you inflicted due to your wrong habits.
If you are into the toxic relationship then you will some day experience the pain of breakup. But ultimate intention of pain is to make you aware. To teach you life lessons. Many successful people have experienced the immense pain in their life. They have leaned meaningful life lessons from that pain.
Each time they go through painful situations they have emerged as a more stronger and wiser. Pain is inevitable to teach you life lessons and make you more aware of the true meaning of life.
How to avoid suffering and pain in life?
“You don’t suffer because you have thoughts. You suffer because you judge them, resist them, believe them, wallow in them, or identify with them.”
While pain is inevitable but you have scope to make suffering optional. Suffering is because of the emotional attachment with the pain. You have power to avoid the suffering through wisely handling the pain.
When you are going through the pain of breakup, you will suffer more if you become more attached to the emotions with the pain which you are experiencing. If you think like, was that my fault? I don't deserve relationship ? I feel guilty of my misbehavior.
All these self criticism will boost your suffering. In this case you are getting too much attached with the emotional pain. You are thinking in self criticizing way. You are bound to suffer a lot as you are feeling more guilty and taking this more personally.
What if ? real cause of breakup is the other person might have found more interesting personality than you. In this case you are blaming yourself and you are choosing the suffering.
Scenario could be anything but you always have power to choose your suffering. If you are wise enough then you will never blame yourself rather you will learn from this experience and next time you won't fail.
Acceptance is the best way to avoid the pain and suffering
Many people initially suffer more because they resist the change or they don't want to accept what had already happened. We keep on offering resistance to situation by cursing the life. This resistance will make you suffer life more.
Why this happened to me?
I don't deserve this ?
I haven't done any wrong to anyone, then why this happening to me?
I don't want my life this way to show up ?
With all these resistance you will suffer more. Harder you try to curse the life more you will get pain and suffering. People don't want to accept what had already happened. Only offering resistance or blaming others will not change your life situation.
Your thoughts about the situation will make you suffer more. You will try to attach so emotional thoughts with the situation and that will cause you suffer more.
Instead of resistance if you choose acceptance then you suffering will reduce considerably. Suppose you have lost closed and loved one. In this case if you don't accept what had happened then every day you will keep on reminding that person and you will feel more pain and suffering. As you have so many emotional attachment with that person , you will suffer by remembering all the past memories and moments.
The moment you accept that you can't change the situation you will change your thoughts. You will accept that some situations are beyond our control so let accept it and move on. You will change your thoughts to acceptance and you will stop cursing life.
Acceptance will reduce the intensity of suffering by reducing the emotional thoughts with the incident. Those who are emotionally resilient will never allow any situation to take control of their feelings and emotions. They will accept the situation without creating any thoughts of victim or loss.
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